Just gonna come out and say it:
Canon middle aged Barry is more interesting than fanon 20-30something Barry.
Barry being old enough to be Lucretia and Magnus’ dad? That’s a fucking excellent dynamic! Let him worry after these kids while the rest of the crew doesn’t really get how young they really are.
Let Barry be a well established scientist who, in the midst of a midlife crisis realized that he wasted his life away in labs and libraries! Let Barry be a lonely old man who finds love and family in a existentially horrifying situation!
Barry’s calculating streak? The product of outlasting and holding his ground against cutthroat academics for decades. His patience? That’s part of being old, baby! He’s so goddamn tired.
Please…let Barry be a fat old man. I’m begging y’all.
the found family trope in fiction is an inherently queer trope because it directly involves deconstructing the heteronormative notions of what family is and involves defining what family is for oneself rather than assuming that the people you are biologically related to are always going to support and care for you. Furthermore it inherently deconstructs and challenges amatonormativity because rather than focusing on a central romantic relationship as the genesis for a family and on forming a romantic partnership as what constitutes making a family, it is focused on close non-romantic bonds. In this essay I will
Where’s the essay OP
Well enough people mentioned it so…
The found family trope in fiction is an inherently queer trope because it directly involves deconstructing the heteronormative notions of what family is and involves defining family for oneself rather than assuming that the people you are biologically related to are always going to support and care for you. Furthermore it inherently deconstructs and challenges amatonormativity because rather than focusing on a central romantic relationship as the genesis for a family and on forming a romantic partnership as what constitutes making a family, it is focused on close non-romantic bonds. There is an overwhelming preoccupation with family as something immutable and constant because you’re related to them and challenging that is valuable for anyone who for whatever reason is no longer in touch or on good terms with their family. This is a discussion that extends beyond the context of challenging heteronormativity or amatonormativity, but that is the aspect of it that interests me and which I will be focussing on. For the purposes of this essay I will be using queer to encapsulate LGBTQIA+ identities due to the terms wide acceptance in academic circles in the context of queer theory, and because of the application of queer as a verb. This is not just about dismantling heteronormative assumptions and constructs, this is about queering the idea of what family can be and how it is formed.
The found family or family of choice trope, is described by TV Tropes as when characters “mourn the lack of family in their lives and decide to build [a family] of their own out of people they care for and who care for them in turn”. This is important, because the trope often occurs because of stressful or unpleasant family circumstances for one or more of the characters in question, though it is not necessary that this be the case. Because of this, the found family need not be as homogenous and monolithic as a family related to each other, and as such is a great exemplification of solidarity– a very important part of what makes the queer community a singular community rather than many fragmented ones. Disparate members of the community may not face the same challenges, oppression, or stigma, but that does not mean they cannot find common ground and support each other through those various tribulations. Likewise, the found family need not be unified by the same background, the same lived experiences, or even the same reasons for seeking a found family. It is the decision and dedication to loving and supporting one another, to coming together on the common ground they do have and expressing solidarity for that they do not. Beyond it’s values, the trope also serves a valuable role for queer viewers in that it provides a reassuring and valuable alternative to queer folks who are not accepted by their biological families. When as story tells you that a family can be whatever you choose, that the bonds between them are ones of choice rather than biological or legal factors outside their control, that is greatly reassuring to people who need to find a new support structure outside the one they were raised with. At its core the found family is not just representative of quee values, it unseats traditional notions about family structures and challenges heteronormativity– as does any familial unit that does not fall into the narrow confines of a monogamous, straight cis couple and their biological children to varying degrees. It removes the typical vision of a straight couple at the core of a family, the parental homestead as a place always there to come home to, and replaces it with a chosen group to form a trusted and loving community.
The archetypal family unit is deeply tied to heteronormativity as it is centred around a straight marriage as the immutable core of a family, but even more so it is tied to amatonormativity. Amatonormativity is a term originated by Elizabeth Brake to, in her words, “describe the widespread assumption that everyone is better off in an exclusive, romantic, long-term coupled relationship, and that everyone is seeking such a relationship”. Again, it is a concept that has application in a number of contexts, but it is chiefly interesting to me in the context of aromantic identities because that is where my personal experience lies, thought it should be noted that there is a large overlap in the ways it harms aromantic and polyamorous people. There is a widespread conception that settling down and starting a family is a universal goal and moreover, is accomplished in a universal way. Amatonormativity manifests itself in this assumption, and unlike heteronormativity, it is not exclusive to that idea of the archetypal family. While it is mainly concerned with the (monogamous) romantic relationship aspect of “settling down”, it often goes hand in hand with the assumption that settling down means children as well, because what else would a family consist of? What else are you going to do make meaning in your life? This brings us back to found family. Rather than prioritizing a romantic relationship as the most important part of a family– if not one’s life– it prioritizes non-romantic bonds. This is not to say that there cannot be romantic relationships as a part of a found family, but they are not the focal point. By challenging just what a family is, the found family challenges the idea of settling down as the only way to have close supportive bonds, not to mention that those bonds must originate with a romantic relationship. Moreover, since the trope more often occurs among characters who are earlier in life than people who would be getting married and having children, the trope rejects the idea that family and children are the only way to make meaning. A found family is no less important for its early formation, but it is no longer the goal of life but rather a support structure that is a part of a larger whole of a life. It directly opposes the amatonormative notion that romantic love is the most important part of anyone’s life, and leaves room for varying degrees of closeness between the members of said found family, allowing for those who do not prioritize or do not experience romantic attraction to still find a way to make family should they choose.
Found family is a trope that keeps occuring and stays present because it is relatable to a great number of people in a great number of situations. It has always and will always have applications outside of the context of the queer community and aromantic circles, but those lenses hold a lot of value for consideration.
~Shakespearean Audio: The Masterpost~
After a bunch of people liked my St. Crispin’s Masterpost, I thought it would be good to collect all my stuff in one place so you can find it more easily and, well, so I don’t forget what I’ve posted!
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE tell me if there are any broken/wrong links or missing posts. I will try to get this as up to date as I can before adding any new clips so please bear with me as that may take some time. All new posts will have a link back to here so it will now be easier to compare versions!
–Comedies and Romances—
As You Like It:
“All the world’s a stage”
The Comedy of Errors:
“I to the world am like a drop of water/ That in the ocean seeks another drop.”
Cymbeline:
“The crickets sing, and man’s o’er-labour’d sense repairs itself by rest.”
Anton Lesser and Emma Fielding
The Merchant of Venice:
“Well, tell me now, what lady is the same to whom you swore a secret pilgrimage that you today promised to tell me of?”
Anthony Nicholls and Jeremy Brett
“The quality of mercy is not strain’d”
Ralph Fiennes, Emma Fielding, Haydn Gwynne, Gemma Jones, Lynn Collins, Maggie Smith, Claire Bloom, Joan Plowright, Juliet Aubrey, Natalie Thomas Ellen Terry
A Midsummer Night’s Dream:
“It shall be call’d ‘Bottom’s Dream,’ because it hath no bottom.”
Brian Glover, James Cagney, Roger Allam, Kevin Kline, Sam Bensusen, Desmond Barrit, Paul Rogers
Much Ado About Nothing:
“Love me? Why, it must be requited!”
David Tennant, Samuel West, Sam Waterston, Richard Monette, Kenneth Branagh, David Tennant (BBCRadio), Charles Edwards
“Lady Beatrice, have you wept all this while?”
Sam Waterston and Kathleen Widdoes, Kenneth Branagh and Emma Thompson, David Tennant and Catherine Tate, Samuel West and Saskia Reeves, David Tennant and Samantha Spiro, Ben Crystal and Rebecca Pownall, Charles Edwards and Eve Best
The Taming of the Shrew:
“Good Morrow Kate, for that’s your name I hear.”
Richard Burton and Elizabeth Taylor, John Cleese and Sarah Badel, Marc Singer and Fredi Olster, Colm Feore and Goldie Semple, Roger Allam and Frances Barber Bob Peck and Cheryl Campbell
The Tempest:
“Where should this music be? I’ th’ air, or th’ earth?”
Ian McKellen, Scott Handy, and Benedict Cumberbatch
“Be not afeard, the isle is full of noises”
Richard McCabe, Miles Potter, Djimon Hounsou, Kenneth Branagh at the Olympics
“Now does my project gather to a head”
Twelfth Night:
“‘Tis but fortune; all is fortune.”
–Histories—
King John:
“Mad world! mad kings! mad composition!”
Richard II:
“Alack, why am I sent for to a king, before I have shook off the regal thoughts wherewith I reign’d?”
Samuel West and Damian Lewis, Rupert Graves and John Nettleton, Richard Pasco and Ian Richardson
“I have been studying how I may compare/ This prison where I live unto the world.”
Ben Crystal, David Birney, Mark Rylance, Ben Whishaw, Derek Jacobi, Rupert Graves, Samuel West
Henry IV part I:
“How now Kate? I must leave you within these two hours.”
Tim Pigott-Smith and Michele Dotrice, Alan Cox and Jane Slavin, Joe Armstrong and Michelle Dockery, Sam Crane and Lorna Stuart, Sean Connery and Patricia Heneghan
“A plague of all cowards, I say, and a vengeance too.”
“Do thou stand for my father, and examine me upon the particulars of my life.”
Jamie Glover and Richard Griffiths, Robert Hardy and Frank Pettingell, David Gwillim and Anthony Quayle, Tom Hiddleston and Simon Russell Beale, Keith Baxter and Orson Welles, Ian Holm and Hugh Griffith, Jamie Parker and Roger Allam
Henry V:
“Once more unto the breach!”
Robert Hardy, Simon Russell Beale, Samuel West, Jamie Glover, Laurence Olivier, Kenneth Branagh, David Gwillim, Tom Hiddleston, Benjamin O’Mahony, Lewis Waller, Frank Benson
“O God of Battles”
“This day is called the feast of St. Crispin”
Simon Russell Beale, Samuel West, Robert Hardy, Laurence Olivier, Jamie Glover, David Gwillim, Tom Hiddleston, Kenneth Branagh, Mark Rylance
“I was not angry since I came to France”
“Fair Katherine, and most fair, will you vouchsafe to teach a soldier terms such as will enter at a lady’s ear and plead his love-suit to her gentle heart?”
Geoffrey Streatfeild and Alexia Healy, Jamie Glover and Saira Todd, Robert Hardy and Judi Dench, David Gwillim and Jocelyne Boisseau, Kenneth Branagh and Emma Thompson, Laurence Olivier and Renee Asherton, Samuel West and Cathy Sara
Henry VI part III:
“This battle fares like to the morning’s war.”
Act 5, scene 6
David Tennant and David Troughton
Richard III:
“Now is the winter of our discontent made glorious summer by this son of York.”
“Stay, you that bear the corpse and set it down.”
“Despair and Die!”
“I love myself. Wherefore? For any good/ that I myself have done unto myself?”
Kenneth Branagh, David Troughton, Ron Cook, Paul Daneman, Ian McKellen, Ian Holm
–Tragedies—
Hamlet:
“Where wilt thou lead me? Speak: I’ll go no further”
Kenneth Branagh and John Gielgud, Anton Lesser and Geoffrey Whitehead
“I have of late — but wherefore I know not — lost all my mirth.”
Anton Lesser, Richard Burton, Simon Russell Beale, John Gielgud, Campbell Scott, David Tennant, Derek Jacobi, Adam Long, Kenneth Branagh, Ben Crystal
“O rose of May, dear maid, kind sister, sweet Ophelia…”
Ellen Terry, Imogen Stubbs and Damien Lewis, Emma Fielding and Jamie Glover, Celia Johnson and Hugh Burden,
Julius Caesar:
“Brutus, I do observe you now of late. I have not from your eyes that gentleness and show of love that I was wont to have.”
Paterson Joseph and Cyril Nri, John Bowe and Geoffrey Whitehead, Paul Rhys and Pip Carter, Jason Robards and Richard Johnson, James Mason and John Gielgud, John Wood and Patrick Stewart Nicholas Farrell and Colin McFarlane Edward Hardwicke and Ian Hogg
King Lear:
“Thou, nature, art my goddess; to thy law/ My services are bound.”
“Howl, howl, howl, howl! O, you are men of stones.”
Michael Hordern, Paul Scofield, Laurence Olivier, Ian McKellen (Film), Ian McKellen (Live), Trevor Peacock
Macbeth:
“Here’s a knocking indeed!”
“Tomorrow, and tomorrow and tomorrow”
David Morrissey, Antony Sher, James Marsters, Orson Welles, Hugh Ross, Sam Worthington, Patrick Stewart, Nicol Williamson, Ian McKellen, Alan Cumming, Ken Stott, Sean Pertwee, Jon Finch, Simon Russell Beale
Othello:
“Most potent, grave, and reverend signors”
“Thus do I ever make my fool my purse”
Rory Kinnear and Tom Robertson
“Thanks! you the valiant of this warlike isle that so approve the moor.”
Tom Hiddleston and Kelly Reilly
“Reputation, reputation, reputation!”
Tom Hiddleston and Ewan McGregor
“O Beware, my lord, of jealousy: it is the green-eyed monster which doth mock the meat it feeds on.”
Eamonn Walker, Tim McInnerny, and Zoe Tapper, Hugh Quarshie, Anton Lesser, and Emma Fielding, John Kani, Richard Haines, and Joanna Weinberg, Chiwetel Ejiofor, Ewan McGregor, and Kelly Reilly
“Witness that here Iago doth give up/ The execution of his wit, hands, heart/ to wrong’d Othello’s service!”
Willard White and Ian McKellen, Lenny Henry and Conrad Nelson, Hugh Quarshie and Anton Lesser, Don Warrington and David Threlfall, Eamonn Walker and Tim McInnerny, Anthony Hopkins and Bob Hoskins, Laurence Fishburne and Kenneth Branagh, John Kani and Richard Haines, Laurence Olivier and Frank Finlay, Chiwetel Ejiofor and Ewan McGregor
“Now will I question Cassio of Bianca”
Ewan McGregor, Tom Hiddleston, and Chiwetel Ejiofor
“My mother had a maid call’d Barbary.”
Irene Jacob and Anna Patrick, Anne-Marie Duff and Suzanne Bertish, Imogen Stubbs and Zoe Wanamaker, Jessica Harris and Sara Poyzer, Penelope Wilton and Rosemary Leach, Maggie Smith and Joyce Redman, Kelly Reilly and Michelle Fairley, Natalie Thomas and Joan Walker
Bonus!
The Cassio Rap from Othello: The Remix
Reputation: The Branneston Edit
Romeo and Juliet:
“O then I see Queen Mab hath been with you.”
Anton Lesser, Derek Jacobi, John McEnery, Colm Feore, Philip Cumbus, Anthony Andrews, John Barrymore, David Tennant
“But soft! What light through yonder window breaks?”
Ian McKellen and Francesca Annis, Kenneth Branagh and Samantha Bond
Titus Andronicus:
“Come, come Lavinia. Look, thy foes are bound”
–Sonnets—
my mini repository of shakespearean audio clips is gonna go away if my tumblr goes bye bye so enjoy this shit while you can
Watching Inspector Morse: Who hurt you man –
Watching Endeavour: Literally everyone you ever met tried to shoot, poison or stab you, I get it now.
No one wants actual cishets in LGBT+ spaces. We just want that word used correctly.
Also if a ‘cishet’ is insisting they want to be part of LGBTA+ spaces… there’s probably a reason for it, and chances are they are not as cis and/or het as they initially thought.
You know what? I’ll say it: I want the occasional cishet in our spaces.
“Who do we let in?” is, at its core, a security problem. And one of the more important lessons in security design is that no system is perfect. Either you let through the occasional attacker (and, ideally, have a plan to get rid of them and minimize the damage when they’re eventually caught) or you keep out legitimate members.
I will gladly take the occasional “cishet” person who is invested strongly enough in our causes to be able to fool us, given that the alternative is to keep out struggling queer people who need help.
So… I’m gonna second @wetwareproblem, not surprisingly, with a story:
My cishet father-in-law is a huge proponent of Reconcliation in the Methodist Church. For those of you who don’t know? Reconciliation means “letting LGBTQIPA/queer people participate fully in the church.” He’s also one of the biggest supporters and cheerleaders and sources of love that @mistresskabooms has had on her journey out of the closet and through transition – and he’s been a big supporter of us through that process as well, her parents – up to and including reaching out to MY parents when they wouldn’t accept MK, to literally witness to my folks about how they were being un-Christian by not supporting her.
He wasn’t always like that. When @dadhoc came out to him a couple decades before, he was… really not like that. He was the absolute opposite.
But when he started to edge into allyship? I let him in. I let him in to the queer parts of my life, I directed him to where he could learn, what he could read. I talked through his journey with him. And then he went to physical LGBTQ+ spaces, and he listened, and he learned. If no one would have let him in and educated him, he would not have been able to make the journey that he has.
(It bears noting that Dad is in his mid-seventies, so, like, I don’t accept any of this ‘they’re too old to change’ shit. If his Midwestern Evangelical Christian self can make that journey, anyone can.)
So, he doesn’t take resources from the LGBTQ+ spaces that let him in, he brings them. And while I appreciate that letting cishet people in to all spaces, all the time, isn’t a desirable thing, the statement ‘no one wants cishets in LGBT+ spaces’ is… not correct. I do. I want allies who are genuinely invested in our well-being in those spaces, even leaving aside the idea that some of those cishet people might in fact be queer. I want people like my father-in-law to be able to come and bring their resources to bear to help us, to learn, to become better allies. To be able to keep up with evolving terminology.
All spaces? No, some of them are just for us. But many spaces? Yes. Absolutely.
Have I told y’all about my husband’s Fork Theory?
If I did already, pretend I didn’t, I’m an old.
So the Spoon Theory is a fundamental metaphor used often in the chronic pain/chronic illness communities to explain to non-spoonies why life is harder for them. It’s super useful and we use that all the time.
But it has a corollary.
You know the phrase, “Stick a fork in me, I’m done,” right?
Well, Fork Theory is that one has a Fork Limit, that is, you can probably cope okay with one fork stuck in you, maybe two or three, but at some point you will lose your shit if one more fork happens.
A fork could range from being hungry or having to pee to getting a new bill or a new diagnosis of illness. There are lots of different sizes of forks, and volume vs. quantity means that the fork limit is not absolute. I might be able to deal with 20 tiny little escargot fork annoyances, such as a hangnail or slightly suboptimal pants, but not even one “you poked my trigger on purpose because you think it’s fun to see me melt down” pitchfork.
This is super relevant for neurodivergent folk. Like, you might be able to deal with your feet being cold or a tag, but not both. Hubby describes the situation as “It may seem weird that I just get up and leave the conversation to go to the bathroom, but you just dumped a new financial burden on me and I already had to pee, and going to the bathroom is the fork I can get rid of the fastest.”
I like this and also I like the low key point that you may be able to cope with bigger forks by finding little ones you can remove quickly. A combination of time, focus, and reduction to small stressors that can allow you to focus on the larger stressor in a constructive way.
Ohhh thisssssss
Clone Wars season 4(ish) style Obi-Wan…. because he deserves more fanart and love honestly
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