It’s quite likely no coincidence that that most ‘mismanaged’ and least profitable social media site is also the one that turned out to be most amenable to the formation of actual communities
To clarify, Tumblr is indeed horribly mismanaged, but notably, it’s mismanaged both in ways that harm us (e.g. doing little about pornbots, nazis, etc.) and ways that have greatly benefited us – not asking for real names, hiding our follower counts, a chronologically-sorted dashboard, etc. are big draws, but in the eyes of other social media monarchs, they look like unforgivable mistakes. If I don’t have to give my real name, that’s that much less information to sell to advertisers. If posts are listed chronologically, Tumblr can’t shove the posts of ‘influencers’ in front of me willy-nilly. Tumblr was a ‘success’ because it was too poorly managed to sufficiently atomize us, and so we actually had conversations and communities instead of being the best products for advertisers.
During a viewing of a house, take photographs of everything to study later at your leisure. It’s easy to overlook painted-over water damage that stands out in stark relief once you see it on a screen. Prod at everything that isn’t capable of prodding back. (If it is capable of prodding back, it is either electrical or alive, so unless you have an infestation of puppies inside your walls, the latter is a problem.) ANY damage, no matter how minor it is spoken of by an agent/owner, is damage, and is on them to fix. You are looking for a place to live, not a place to fix. If they want to sell to someone who is looking to Fix, walk away. Unless you, yourself, are looking to Fix.
(I never want to do that again unless I have the budget to point at people and pay THEM to fix it.)
Check Google reviews and choose your own home inspector for the closing. If the real estate agent/agency insists on using their own inspector, fire them and get a new agent/agency. That sort of thing is usually only for the benefit of the agent and inspector, not the future homeowner.
Tall grass can hide so many sins, and those sins are named cockroaches.
When the sins are not named cockroaches, they are named rot, mold, and flood damage.
Watch a LOT of “Holmes on Homes.” Canadian show, used to air on HGTV and is probably all over YouTube. It’s got a lot of useful visuals and stories that will teach you what is Code better than a handbook. Also, Mike is fun.
Insist that any problems that are found be fixed before closing. If they aren’t fixed, it’s lawsuit time or walking away from the sale time to find another place. If those problems are not fixed before close, chances are high that they will never be fixed by those who once promised to fix them, and you’re out more out-of-pocket right at the start.
Don’t buy a house on a floodplain unless you can afford the flood/hurricane insurance. If you can afford it and fully understand and comprehend that your house may be underwater once a year, go for it.
If there is water in the basement, Nope Out. You don’t need that kind of stress in your life.
If the option exists, get a home warranty, especially if it’s a new build. Unless you are there babysitting them, far too many construction crews will faff off and cheap out on their work. (For the price point that this rental would sell for, omg did the construction people go fucking cheap. The owner wasn’t here to babysit, and it shows.)
While house-shopping, find an accomplice who is allergic to mold and take them to every viewing. They are your walking radar. Buy them allergy meds, migraine meds, and whatever else they require as bribery, for they will always know if your maybe-new-house has mold, and avoiding that clusterfuck is worth the bribery expense.
If you’re looking to settle long-term, be absolutely certain you are happy with the place. Ask the selling agent if you can do an overnight in the house. If not, ask for a day. You want to find out if you notice any strange smells that a simple walkthrough doesn’t reveal. You want to know what it feels like at night. You even want to know if that fucker is haunted; if you’re paying to have a roommate, you at least want to know in advance if you’ll like them, since you’re probably stuck with them.
Radon. Asbestos. A homeowner wants not these things.
Also, view the home more that once. If the residence is being lived in before it’s sold, try to get at least one viewing on the shortest notice possible. If there is a problem that they are hiding with shiny paint and spackle, it’s harder to hide if they haven’t gussied up the place for a viewing.
Check the neighborhood. If the little lawn flags reveal that everyone else is using pest control services, chances are high that you will need to do the same. Some places this is a Red Flag; other times it just means you live in Florida.
Think handicapped friendly. You may not need a chair now, but what if
you have friends who rely on that 36″ doorway? What if you fall down in
ten years and can’t get back up and suddenly you need 36″ doorways and
chair access you never had to think about before? Fuck, even consider crutches.
If you have to climb fifty steps to get into your house, you will cry
if you ever sprain an ankle. Also, if this is the place you’re going to
live for the rest of your life, yes, you have to consider what it will
be like to live there when you are 80 just as much as when you are 30.
Remodeling for full handicapped access is a pain in the ass, and if your
doorways and the like are not to code, consider getting that renovation
done before you move in.
Don’t trust open house viewings. It’s like a viewing at a funeral home–just because there is a pound of makeup and fancy clothes on the corpse doesn’t mean that it is no longer a corpse. Go view that house at a time when it is not on public display to find out what it’s like when the scented candles and fancy centerpieces have been put away.
If you are a first-time buyer at a certain budget, FHA, baby.
If you haven’t already done so, go make friends with a credit union, open an account, and get your mortgage through them. They won’t sell you off to the highest bidder right after you close on the loan. Also, they’ll be more honest as to what you can afford and what interest rate you’ll qualify for, and it will usually be far lower than what anyone else can offer.
If your new place will have a yard, go for drought-friendly landscaping, a yardful of rocks, and/or raised beds for gardening. Lawn care is a stupid pain in the ass and you will come to resent it unless you are Neville Longbottom.
idk can we stop…treating a.ce disc.ourse like it’s some haha funney cringe compilation or whatever the fuck because it fucking destroyed the entire ace and aro communities. there is no solid aspec community on tumblr anymore (which was by far the biggest number of aspec ppl). exclusionists took our community and fucking smashed it to pieces and y’all treat it as this fucking stupid joke when they traumatized, gaslit, and abused an entire group of queer people back into the closet. fuck every single person who doesn’t take that seriously.
My personal experience is just that, but it’s really indicative that I have watched almost every single ace and aro person I know, irl and online, actively recloset themselves as a direct result of the consequences of The Disc Horse™
I watched irl queer groups disintegrate bc a few ppl who got into leadership positions used that to make the space hostile towards ace ppl (among others as well), saw friends go from being loud and proud aces n aros to actively avoiding any mention of it and letting ppl assume their sexuality. I myself, having been IDing as ace for 10 years at least, have in the past couple since this whole “"discourse”“ came into being, actively and intentionally stopped telling anyone at all that I’m ace. To put that in some kind of perspective, I am incredibly out as trans and will actively out myself pretty constantly except to total strangers I will never see again. I feel safer telling ppl I’m trans than ace. Especially in queer spaces. It’s fucked me up so much I didn’t even quite grasp how much but today my therapist asked me for the first time about like romantic relationships and I physically could not say I am aro and ace. Completely incapable, utterly frozen, and I just kinda let her believe what she will. Ironically the fact that I’ve gone from being willing and ready to tell ppl I’m ace as just another facet of myself to entirely unable and unsolicited to tell anyone, is probably a thing one might want to talk w one’s therapist about.
This has really fucked not just the community at large but fucked up individual ace ppl in so many ways. It’s not something “funny” or remotely harmless, it’s absolutely devastated us.
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