Nobody warned me about Altoids.

memecaptainsteverogers:

pepper-to-the-rescmeme:

memecaptainsteverogers:

clairthepizzameme:

memecaptainsteverogers:

phantoms-lair:

Doesn’t it say ‘curiously strong’ right on the tin?

That’s not a warning! Lots of things are curiously strong but don’t try to maim people. Me, for instance! 

Steve, how many did you try to eat at once?

They looked like Smarties.

You have to eat at least four Smarties to get any flavor! 

Steve. Steve no. Steven.

I’m so minty, Pepper.

apathetic-revenant:

petition for a modern Sherlock Holmes take in which:

  • Holmes is explicitly aroace.
  • whatever sexuality Watson is, either a.) he and Holmes are in a relationship, which is made very clear and definite, or b.) they’re clearly not and they get rightfully annoyed at people assuming/insisting that they are. 
  • if there are any gay jokes they had better be up to Captain Holt standards.
  • if Watson has an SO that’s not Holmes they get to be a significant character in their own right rather than a walking side joke.
  • re: that post about the way cocaine usage was viewed in Victorian England, if Holmes has a substance abuse problem it’s not a direct transfer of what he used in the original stories but a modern translation of that. which is to say, I want to see Holmes pouring 5-hour-energy into his fifth cup of coffee while Watson beats his head against the wall.
  • if Holmes has a mental illness it’s recognized and portrayed as an actual realistic mental illness. it is neither there to make him Edgy nor to give him license to be a jackass. 
  • Holmes can totally be a jackass but it’s portrayed as him, in fact, being a jackass, and he isn’t given free pass for it just because he’s Very Smart.
  • Holmes alternates, seemingly at random, between being charming and incredibly socially adept, and having no social skills whatsoever. 
  • Holmes disguises himself all the time, often for no real reason. sometimes these disguises are exquisite and sometimes they’re utterly terrible and unconvincing, but Holmes remains convinced that they’re all great.
  • Watson definitely threatens to hit someone with a chair at some point.
  • Irene Adler has a husband that she genuinely loves and does not get killed off or otherwise abandoned in the course of her story arc.
  • there is 0% sexual tension between Irene Adler and Holmes. Holmes loses the case because he writes her off as being inferior to him and consequently underestimates her. he learns from this mistake. or at the very least, Watson constantly reminds him of it. 
  • anything that was a factual error or case of science-marches-on in the original stories is brought up as a genuine mistake made by Holmes, as part of his whole I-don’t-need-to-know-things-that-aren’t-relevant-to-me shtick. (”he brought the snake here by whistling for it!” “snakes are deaf Holmes” “what”)
  • there’s no ominous buildup to Moriarty appearing. he literally just shows up completely out of nowhere just like he does in the original story. Holmes insists he’s been behind everything; everyone else is very confused.
  • either Holmes, Watson, or both carry brass knuckles. 
  • poor long-suffering Watson has to constantly point out to Holmes that Baritsu is Not A Thing, Holmes, you just made that up okay. 
  • despite being otherwise impeccably dressed, Holmes has a different stupid hat in each episode. none of them are a deerstalker though. 
  • modern versions of other detectives inspired by Holmes (Poirot, Nero Wolfe, etc) occasionally wander into the stories, but their appearances are never called attention to. they’re just there. 
  • at least one reference to The Great Mouse Detective is made. 
  • Holmes gets really into video games when he’s bored between cases. one story has a background plot of him trying to figure out an adventure game puzzle. he’s infuriated when he finally finds the (ridiculous) solution. 
  • Holmes has a fidget cube.

arkhamarchitecture:

iamalivenow:

im unironically consumed  by the accidental southern belle energy caduceus keeps putting out like

  1. has a big sun hat
  2. big family (drama)
  3. judgy
  4. Sunday school v practical application of religious practices

do i have to say more

He even lives out in the backwoods of a small town. I can’t believe we’ve all missed how southern gothic this boy is.